Life lessons learned in a garage

Hello all,
So I have started cleaning out our garage. I thought that it might take, maybe, one afternoon when I started the project. 6 hours later, I am not even half done. These are a few things I have learned along the way in my voyage to a cleaner, more organized garage.
1. If you aren't sure what a green slimey substance is at the bottom of a bucket, DO NOT stick your head inside said bucket and inhale to identify the mystery ooze. It will pickle your eyes and burn your esophagus black, and then resume it's unassuming state of semi-being.
2.If you want to move a 10 foot long shelf made of plywood and 2X4's, do not assume that it is strong enough to handle being dragged accross the floor by two of it's legs, while holding 4 bins of random tools, bike pumps, camping gear and tiling equipment. The ensuing landslide of garage junk caused a minor earthquake in Cedar Hills and my poor shelf is now laying down on the job, literally.
3.When moving a stack of folding chairs that hasen't budged in 18 months, make sure that your 6 year old is NOT beside you nailing nails into a 2X4, be certain that if you happen to see a spider on the chair that you are holding that you throw the chair AWAY from the innocent child and not directly AT the innocent child, and finally, do not do the spider dance and shriek as the 6 year old is about to hammer a nail (that is dangerously close to your foot). If you can imagine the scene, 2 crying girls, injured accidentally by each other, the older one smacking frantically at a folding chair that is laying on top of the younger ones knee, while furiously rubbing the very tip of her longest toe, to try to get the feeling back from a stray hammer swing.
4. Home Depot has stayed in business because of disorganized people like us Salmonds. I found 3 boxes of the same exact nails, 8 putty knives, 3 chalk liners, 3 sets of drill bits (no drill, mind you), 11 tubes of half used caulking, 2 unopened bags of grout, 7 unopened dimmer switches, 3 full but hard containers of super glue....I could go on and on.
5.4 year old boys are not good garage dejunking helpers because they do not want to throw anything away. Whether it be an old cardboard box ("that's my car"), a blow up swimming whale with a HUGE hole in it's nose ("I will fix it with glue"), 11 tubes of half used caulking glue ("I want to play bowling with it"), or a pair of boots from 2 years ago ("NOOOOO, They are mine!!!!!").
6.If you tell a child not to touch something, it inevitably will become their life mission to not only touch the object, but to hold it, study it, figure out it's inner secrets. This was the case with the half gallon of used oil that we had sitting in a milk jug on a high shelf. I moved it down to child eye level to move the shelf (first mistake), told the kids not to touch it (second mistake), and turned my back on the oil to resume my chore (third mistake). I had an odd feeling moments later, that felt like a mix between cold chills on the back of my neck and slight morning sickness nausea. I turned my head to check on Cole just in time to see him dump the oil all over the ground and into our large garbage can. The sound that escaped my throat can only be described as a gutteral goat shriek as I flew to Cole and in some foriegn language that, shockingly, Cole understood, I said "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING!!!!!" Then my sweet, innocent little guy put me right back in my place and caused me insurmountable guilt by very meekly saying, "I'm sorry mom, I was trying to help. You said it was garbage oil so I threw it away" (if any of you speak the language of Cole then you know that it wasn't that eloquent). Children's innocence can be damaged. Life lessons, people.
7. Black Widows survive in Utah in November. I killed one today in my garage. I was tempted to put it a jar and show it to Tom when he got home, because he is such a fan of spiders, but didn't, when I found my foot instinctively squishing it. Lesson number 8..... feet have a mind of their own. I swear, it was self defense.... preemptive strike..... I got it before it got me.... it had it comin'....... the only good spider is a dead spider (maybe that went a little too far).
9.Always look where you are throwing random giant carboard boxes because if you don't, your 2 year old inevitably come between the box and the box's destination and will end up crashing into the side of the car while naively trying to ride his tricycle past the garbage can, not realizing that his mother cannot hit the broad side of a barn with a ball, let alone throw an awkwardly shape box into an almost big enough garbage can.
10.All work and no play makes Julie a dull boy. If you don't know the movie and the book The Shining I will give you a quick rundown. Man goes to a Scary hotel to write a book. Man goes crazy in scary hotel and ends up killing himself while in a murderous rage that almost takes his families lives. Very telling story of a man who worked too hard. Such is the case of the Shining of the garage. Woman goes to a scary, spider filled garage to clean it. Woman goes crazy in scary, spider filled garage and ends up killing 6 spiders while on a murderous rage to (accidentally) maim children with flying chairs, collapsing shelves and rogue flying cardboard boxes. Woman leaves garage in shambles, to carry on again tomorow. My story has a slightly better ending than does the movie.
So what was the biggest lesson of the day?
Lesson #11. I should have taken the day off.